Whatis a Real Friend?
Manyof us are surrounded by people whom we call friends. However, some ofthese people are in the relationship for their own interests. Thisbrings to the fore the question, what makes a real friend? Friendsshould be able to help one another when in need. It is very difficultto tell apart a good from a bad friend from first appearances. Realfriends should be caring about us and will be there when we are goingthrough tough moments (reference 1). The worth of your friends willbe clear when you are in problems and the friends are required to goout of their way to help you. In many cases, those who are notgenuine in their intentions will suddenly become unavailable andleave you alone. This essay will show the views of people in variousplaces regarding what defines a real friend.
Friendshipis about being committed to a union that will bring benefit to thosein it. Today, it is a lot easier to get in touch and communicate withpeople in other places even without meeting physically. The use ofthe internet and social media has made it possible. People connect onsocial media and immediately regard themselves as friends. Friendshipis developed on the basis of sharing what one has in the heart. Thiskind of intimacy is not possible on social media or with just anyperson you come across on the streets (reference 5).
Beforea relationship develops into friendship, those involved should becomfortable in the presence of one another. Many people holdingdiscussions are of the opinion that it is not easy to open our heartsand share secrets with strangers. For this to happen, the peopleinvolved should trust the other person with the information they areproviding. Friendships are built by spending time with one anotherand getting to know each other. When people are in a genuinerelationship, they will continue maintaining contact even when theyare far apart.
Thebond of friendship was built and maintained by people who would visitone another and hold talks on common issues in their lives. This hastotally changed and people now use social media to exchange ideas.While this is an effective way of getting messages and informationacross, it robs friendship the human touch that is so important.After conversing with their friends on social media, people no longersee the need of having physical meetings. In the absence of face toface conversations, it isdifficult to connect with the other person.Real friends should be truthful to one another in all circumstances.Maintaining truthfulness is not possible on social medial sincepeople have no way of assessing whether the other person is earnestor not.
Beforethe social media came into our lives, people used special occasionssuch as birthdays to express their friendship to those close to them(reference 11). Today, this is done on social media without anycommitment. It is very easy for other people to wish you happybirthday or congratulate you on social media even if they do not meanit. Even strangers can comment on such an occasion. The birthdaywishes you get can be said to be mechanical because all your friendson social media are reminded of your birthday. Probably only ahandful of them would remember your special day without beingreminded (reference 9).
Sometimes,you need to be told that you are wrong. Some conversations hold itthat a good friend should not be all praises. A good friendshouldknow you well and will therefore tell when you are going off themark. It is the responsibility of the friend to warn you and work tohelp you get back on course. A less committed friend will just watchbecause there is no commitment and caring in them about your plight.A genuine friend would not like to see you getting into trouble(reference 2).
Whenpeople are friends does not mean that they should sacrifice theirdiversity. People get attracted to each other because of theirdiversity. Those who suppress their weaknesses in order to gainacceptance are hypocrites who should be avoided. A real friend shouldbe open and be ready to be accepted the way they are. There is noneed for them to try being what they are not because in the end theirsecret will be uncovered.
Somepeople ask whether it is healthy for real friends to have quarrels.It is absolutely normal for people to have divergent views. We aremade differently and we have different perceptions about life(reference 1). Therefore, we are bound to differ on certain issues inthe course of the union unless we are not being open enough. The mostimportant thing in a friendship is how to handle the differences whenthey arise. When an argument is handled maturely by accommodating theviews of the other person, the relationship will certainly thrive(reference 3).
Toleranceand patience are important ingredients in friendships. We all haveweaknesses and make mistakesthat might burden the relationship we arein. Real friendsshould appreciate the weaknesses in each other andprobably help in making the person a better individual. Friendsshould bear with one another and support each other when the rest ofthe world would be running from us. There are moments when the wholeworld seems to beagainst you. It is during such times you are able totell apart your real friends (reference 5).
Friendshipprovides a chance for people to enrich each other. We are createdwith different talents, skills, perceptions and ideas which we canuse and add value to others. Real friends do not keep their abilitiesto themselves (reference 2). They use them to add value in the livesof those close to them and the rest of the society as well. Manypeople agree this enrichment pertains to the heart and not materialthings. In order to get the enrichment being talked about here, wewould first need to be sure of our own characteristics. For example,if we are impatient we would like being friends with people who arepatient. Such people will forfeit their comfort in order to make usbetter and improve our lives (reference 6). Once we get in touch withquality friendswho are willing to share their best with us, ourliveswill be a lot better. True friendship cuts across racial, ageand gender boundaries. Old people can be real friends with the youngand add value to one another. Men and women can have close friendshipwithout having sexual relationships. The same applies for people fromdifferent racial backgrounds (reference 4).
Itis argued by some people that real friends are those who have been inyour life for many years. Some friends developed a bond in theirchildhood and remain united into their old age. The reason formaintaining such a union for a long time is that these people addvalue to the livesof one another. Every person you meet has potentialto be a friend. It does not matter at what stage of life you are in.A good friend will add value into your life whether you are young orold (reference 8).
Thevalue of friendship is created when people come together to share amoment. It may be an unplanned meeting in any place that will beconvenient for them to have a good conversation. When talking,friends give each other full attention and listen to more than thewords of the other. The use of technological devices has done a lotto kill friendly conversations. A good friend will not answer theirphones or start texting on their phones. The time they have with youis yours and nothing else.
Stressis very common in modern day living. The only way to help avoid thestress is to do what you love (reference 8). It is only a real friendwho understands you thoroughly who can cheer you up when you aredown. There are many instances in life when you will feel so low. Afriend who knows you well will come up with something to brighten youand take all the stress away. By spending quality time with you, theyare able to sense when you are stressed and help you get out of it.The activities we like will even be enjoyable if the friend joinsusin them. Just being in their company helpus feel stronger andencouraged even in the worst of circumstances.
Itis the belief of many that life should be give and take. A realfriend is a person who does a lot for us without expecting anythingin return. They do not give their time, attention or material thingsas an investment in their friends. They do all these things to bringsatisfaction to their hearts and improve the life of another person.A good friend is willing to give all they can without feeling theburden. On the other hard, the person who is receiving should respondto the good gestures in their own way (reference 7). This is theright method to ensure the union continues to grow.
Oneproblem experienced by people individually is the lack of selfappreciation. A person may feel inferior to others for lack of onething all another. This makes such people to lose confidence inthemselves and their abilities. As a result, they fail to recognizethe strong points in them and take advantage of them. When you do nothave self worth, you friend should step in. The friend willappreciate you for what you are and help you focus your attention onthe strong areas of your personality and not the weak ones.When weappreciate ourselves, we are better individuals who will be moreproductive in the lives of other people (reference 10).
Insummary, there is a ranging debate on what is a real debate. Peoplehave varied opinions on this topic depending on their experiences andperceptions. It is true that people become better because of thepeople in their lives. A lot of people may be around us but they donot qualify to be friends. Friendship is a union in which all thoseinvolved contribute to make the life of the other person better. Itis good to have friends who are bold enough to point out the mistakeswe make. In earlier times, friends met face to face. Today, moreavenues have been created by technology. One main ingredient offriendship is trust. Friends have to trust one another so that theycan be assured the secrets they share are safe. It is hard to developfriendship with a person who makes you uncomfortable. People meetonline and maintain relationships without having to meet physically.True friends value others as human beings and do not segregate interms of race, color, sex or age. There is no specific time whenfriendships can be formed. Children can become friends and maintainthat relationship into adult hood.
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